5 Shocking Japanese Keigo Mistakes (And How to Master Japanese Honorifics Instantly!)

by석아산 • • 2 min read
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Pixel art illustration of three types of Japanese keigo: a formal office bow for Sonkeigo, a humble shop interaction for Kenjougo, and a friendly coffee shop chat for Teineigo.

 

5 Shocking Japanese Keigo Mistakes (And How to Master Japanese Honorifics Instantly!)

Ever felt a cold sweat run down your back when you have to speak Japanese in a formal setting?

It's that moment when you're talking to a new boss, a respected elder, or a potential business partner, and you realize your casual Japanese won't cut it.

You know you need to use something different, something... more polite.

That feeling, my friend, is the pressure of keigo, the system of Japanese honorifics.

It's one of the most intimidating parts of learning Japanese, and honestly, for good reason.

Unlike simply adding "please" or "thank you," keigo completely changes the verbs and nouns you use, and it's all about context.

Mess it up, and you could accidentally offend someone, come across as arrogant, or just sound plain ridiculous.

I remember one of my first major blunders in Tokyo.

I was in a business meeting, fresh-faced and confident in my conversational Japanese.

The client was a high-ranking executive at a major company, and I, in my infinite wisdom, tried to sound respectful by using a word I thought was polite, but I used it completely out of context.

The look on his face was a mix of confusion and slight offense.

My Japanese colleague quickly stepped in to correct me, and while the meeting went fine, the lesson stuck with me for life.

Keigo isn't just a set of rules; it's a reflection of the Japanese social structure and a deeply ingrained cultural value.

It shows respect for a person's status, age, or position, and it's a crucial part of navigating life in Japan, whether you're working, traveling, or just making friends.

Don't worry, though, because in this guide, we're going to demystify keigo together.

I'll be your friendly guide, walking you through the different types, the common pitfalls, and giving you practical, real-world examples so you can start using it with confidence.

We'll break down the seemingly complex system into a few simple truths, and by the end, you'll feel ready to tackle any formal situation with grace and politeness.

No more cold sweats, just confident conversations.

Let's dive in!

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Table of Contents: A Guide to Mastering Japanese Keigo

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Keigo 101: What Are the 3 Types of Japanese Honorifics?

First things first, let's get the core concepts down.

Think of keigo not as a single language, but as a spectrum of politeness with three main categories.

This is where many people get confused, so let's use an analogy.

Imagine you're dressing for an event.

You have your casual clothes for a barbecue, a nice suit for a business meeting, and a tuxedo for a black-tie gala.

Keigo works in a similar way—you choose your "outfit" based on the occasion and the person you're speaking to.

The three main categories are:

1. Sonkeigo (尊敬語): Respectful Language. This is the "tuxedo." You use this when talking about a superior, a customer, or someone of higher status. It's all about elevating the other person's actions and status, putting them on a pedestal.

2. Kenjōgo (謙譲語): Humble Language. This is the "suit." It's used when you're talking about your own actions in front of a superior. Kenjōgo is about humbling yourself, lowering your own status to show respect for the other person. You're essentially saying, "I am not worthy of your greatness."

3. Teineigo (丁寧語): Polite Language. This is your "nice, well-fitting outfit." It's the most common and versatile form of keigo. Teineigo is used to show general politeness to strangers, colleagues, and acquaintances. It's the safe bet when you're unsure, and it's what you probably learned first when studying Japanese with a -masu ending.

Understanding these three types is the first and most crucial step.

You can't just pick one and use it everywhere; you have to know which one fits the situation.

If you use sonkeigo for yourself, you'll sound arrogant. If you use kenjōgo for a superior, you'll sound rude. It's a delicate dance, but one you can master with a little practice.

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The Crown Jewel: Understanding Sonkeigo (Respectful Language)

Sonkeigo is the language of respect and honor.

You use it when you're talking about someone of higher status.

This includes your boss, your boss's boss, your client, a professor, or even a very respected elder in a community.

The goal is to make their actions and presence sound elevated and special.

The verbs change dramatically, and there are a few common patterns to watch for.

A classic example is the verb 'to go' (iku).

In casual Japanese, it's just iku.

In teineigo, it becomes ikimasu.

But in sonkeigo, it transforms into irassharu.

So, you wouldn't say, "My boss went to the meeting," as shachō ga kaigi ni ikimashita.

Instead, you'd use shachō ga kaigi ni irasshaimashita.

The change is subtle but carries immense weight.

Another common way to create sonkeigo is by adding the prefix o- or go- to nouns and adjectives.

For example, heya (room) becomes o-heya, and renraku (contact) becomes go-renraku.

Sometimes, this can get a little tricky, as there's no hard-and-fast rule for whether to use o- or go-.

It's generally a matter of memorization and exposure, but if a word is of Japanese origin, it usually takes o-, while Chinese loanwords often take go-.

It's not always 100% reliable, though, so don't beat yourself up if you make a mistake.

There are also special honorific verbs that are completely different from their casual forms.

For instance:

iru (to be) becomes irassharu

taberu (to eat) becomes meshiagaru

suru (to do) becomes nasaru

miseru (to show) becomes o-mise ni naru

These are the kinds of words that separate the keigo novice from the keigo master.

They take time to learn, but they are incredibly powerful tools for showing respect.

Mastering sonkeigo is like learning a whole new vocabulary, but one that is essential for making a great impression in the right contexts.

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The Art of Humility: Navigating Kenjōgo (Humble Language)

Now, let's talk about the other side of the coin: kenjōgo.

This is where you humble yourself to elevate the other person.

You use it when you are talking about your own actions in front of a superior, customer, or someone you need to show respect to.

The key here is self-deprecation, but in a polite, respectful way—not in a sad, self-loathing way.

It's about saying, "My actions are so insignificant that I'm not even going to use a normal verb; I'll use this special, humble one."

Let's go back to our friend, iku (to go).

In kenjōgo, it becomes mairu or ukagau.

So, if your boss asks you, "Are you going to the meeting?" and you want to reply respectfully, you wouldn't say hai, ikimasu.

You'd say hai, mairimasu.

This is a subtle shift, but it shows that you are putting your superior's status before your own.

Like sonkeigo, kenjōgo also has its own set of special verbs.

For example:

miru (to see) becomes haiken suru

iu (to say) becomes mōsu

kiku (to hear/ask) becomes ukagau

shiru (to know) becomes zonjite oru

This is where it can get a little tricky, because some kenjōgo verbs are the same as sonkeigo verbs, but they are used in different contexts.

For example, ukagau can mean both "to visit" (humble) and "to ask" (humble), but it can also be a sonkeigo verb for "to hear."

Confusing? Yes, a little. But this is where context is king.

One common mistake is to mix up sonkeigo and kenjōgo, using a humble verb to refer to your superior's actions.

This is a major faux pas.

For instance, if your boss visited a client, you would say shachō ga okyakusama ni irasshaimashita (sonkeigo), not shachō ga okyakusama ni mairimashita (kenjōgo).

You are humbling yourself, not your superior.

This is a crucial distinction that takes some getting used to.

A good way to remember it is this: Kenjōgo is for I and We, Sonkeigo is for You and They (when referring to a superior).

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The Everyday Hero: When and How to Use Teineigo (Polite Language)

Finally, we have teineigo, the most common and arguably the most useful form of keigo for everyday life.

This is the language of general politeness.

If you've studied Japanese for even a short time, you've already encountered it.

It's characterized by the verb endings -masu and -desu.

You use teineigo when you're speaking to strangers, acquaintances, colleagues, or anyone who isn't a close friend or a family member.

It's the safe bet, the default polite setting.

You're not elevating the other person or humbling yourself; you're simply being courteous.

Think of it as the linguistic equivalent of a firm handshake and a friendly smile.

This is the language you'll use in a restaurant, a store, or when asking for directions.

For instance, tabemasu (I will eat), nomimasu (I will drink), benkyō shimasu (I will study).

Teineigo also uses prefixes like o- and go-, but they're not as complex as in sonkeigo.

Words like o-cha (tea), o-kane (money), and o-sake (sake) are common examples that you'll hear all the time.

The beauty of teineigo is its versatility.

It can be used in almost any situation, and while it's not as formal as sonkeigo or kenjōgo, it's far from rude.

If you're ever in doubt about which form of keigo to use, teineigo is your best friend.

It's the language of the diplomat, the one that can get you through a tough situation without causing any offense.

While it's not the "tuxedo" or the "suit," it's a clean, respectable outfit that will get you into almost any room.

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Beyond the Rules: Situational Keigo for Business & Daily Life

Knowing the three types is one thing, but applying them correctly is where the real fun begins.

Keigo is all about context, and understanding the social dynamics of a situation is key.

Let's run through some real-life scenarios.

### Scenario 1: Talking to Your Boss or a Senior Colleague

In this situation, you are the subordinate, and they are the superior.

Therefore, you will use sonkeigo when talking about their actions and kenjōgo when talking about your own.

Example:

You want to ask your boss if he has read the report yet.

You wouldn't say, Shachō wa repōto o yomimashita ka? (polite, but not respectful enough).

Instead, you would use sonkeigo for the verb yomu (to read), which becomes o-yomi ni naru.

So, the correct phrase is Shachō wa repōto o o-yomi ni narimashita ka?.

Now, let's say your boss asks you, "Did you read the report?"

You would use kenjōgo for your own action.

The verb yomu (to read) becomes haiken suru.

So, you would reply, Hai, haiken itashimashita.

Notice the use of itashimashita instead of shimashita. This is another humble form of suru (to do).

This shows a very clear and respectful distinction between your actions and your boss's.

### Scenario 2: Speaking to a Client or Customer

This is where keigo becomes a real performance.

The customer is always king, so you must use sonkeigo for their actions and kenjōgo for your own.

It's like a linguistic red carpet for them.

Example:

A customer calls your office and asks to speak to your manager.

You wouldn't say, Shachō wa ima denwa ni imasu ka? (polite, but sounds a little too casual).

Instead, you'd use sonkeigo verbs for the customer and kenjōgo verbs for yourself and your team.

A better way to respond would be, Moushiwake gozaimasen, shachō wa tadaima seki o hazushite orimasu.

Let's break that down:

Moushiwake gozaimasen is a very humble way of saying "I'm sorry."

Shachō wa is the topic marker for "the manager."

Tadaima is a formal way of saying "right now."

Seki o hazushite orimasu is the humble form of "is not at his desk." The verb oru is the humble form of iru (to be).

This sentence shows respect for the caller and humility on your part.

It's a perfect example of keigo in action.

For more details on business-specific phrases, I highly recommend checking out some expert resources.

They can provide context-rich examples that go far beyond what we can cover here.

Read More About Japanese Business Etiquette

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5 Common Keigo Mistakes to Avoid (And How to Fix Them)

Even the most seasoned speakers of keigo make mistakes sometimes.

The important thing isn't to be perfect, but to understand the common pitfalls so you can avoid them.

Here are five of the most common blunders I've seen (and made myself).

### Mistake 1: Using Humble Language (Kenjōgo) for the Wrong Person

This is probably the most common and cringeworthy mistake.

As we discussed, you use kenjōgo for your own actions.

If you use it for your superior, it's like you're trying to humble them, which is incredibly rude.

Wrong: Shachō wa mairimashita (My boss humbly arrived).

Right: Shachō wa irasshaimashita (My boss respectfully arrived).

The fix is simple: remember that kenjōgo is for me, and sonkeigo is for them.

### Mistake 2: Mixing Keigo with Casual Language

Picture this: you start a sentence with a polite verb, then finish it with a super casual phrase.

It's like wearing a tuxedo with flip-flops.

It's a jarring mix that shows you don't fully understand the context.

Wrong: Shachō ga o-yomi ni narimashita... demo sorya chigau yo.

This sentence starts with respectful language but ends with a casual phrase, "but that's wrong."

Right: Shachō ga o-yomi ni narimashita, shikaishi, sore wa chigaimasu.

Consistency is key. Once you choose a level of politeness, stick with it throughout the conversation.

### Mistake 3: The Overuse of Double Honorifics

This one is a classic newbie trap.

It's when you try to be so polite that you accidentally apply two forms of keigo to the same word.

It's called nijuu keigo and it's a grammatical error.

An example is o-o-yomi ni naru, which is a double honorific for the verb yomu.

The correct form is just o-yomi ni naru.

The fix is to be mindful of your prefixes and verb conjugations.

### Mistake 4: Using "San" with Your Own Name

This might seem obvious, but I've heard it happen.

You never, ever use a honorific for yourself.

Using san with your own name is a massive no-no.

If someone asks your name, you would simply say, watashi wa Tanaka desu.

Never watashi wa Tanaka-san desu.

It sounds incredibly arrogant and shows a lack of understanding of the basic principles of keigo.

### Mistake 5: Not Knowing When to Drop Keigo

While keigo is important, it's not always necessary.

In fact, using it with a close friend or a family member can create a sense of distance and make the relationship feel cold and formal.

For more insights into the subtleties of Japanese culture and communication, this site is a fantastic resource.

Explore the Deeper Meanings of Japanese Language

The fix here is to read the room.

Listen to how others are speaking and adjust your language accordingly.

If everyone else is speaking casually, it's probably okay for you to do the same.

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Your Keigo Phrasebook: Essential Phrases for Any Occasion

To help you get started, here's a small cheat sheet of common keigo phrases you can use right away.

### General Politeness

Instead of arigatou (thank you), you can use arigatō gozaimasu.

For "I'm sorry," instead of gomen nasai, you would use moushiwake gozaimasen.

For "please," instead of kudasai, you would use onegaishimasu.

### Humble Phrases (Kenjōgo)

mousu (to say): I will say my name. Tanaka to mōshimasu.

haiken suru (to see): I will look at the document. shiryo o haiken itashimasu.

ukagau (to visit/ask): I will visit the client. okyaku-sama no tokoro e ukagaimasu.

### Respectful Phrases (Sonkeigo)

irassharu (to come/go): The manager is here. shachō ga irasshaimasu.

nasaru (to do): What will the manager do? shachō wa nani o nasaimasu ka?

go-ran ni naru (to see): The manager will see the document. shachō wa shiryo o go-ran ni narimasu.

These phrases are your toolkit for navigating various social situations.

Start by memorizing a few and using them in your conversations.

Practice is the only way to make them feel natural.

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Putting It All Together: The Secret to Becoming a Keigo Pro

So, you've read all the rules and learned the examples.

But the real secret to mastering keigo isn't just memorization; it's exposure and practice.

You have to get out there and use it.

It's like learning to ride a bike—you can read all the books you want, but you'll only learn by actually getting on the bike and falling a few times.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes.

Trust me, people will appreciate the effort, even if you mess up a verb here and there.

It shows that you respect their culture and are trying to connect on a deeper level.

The Japanese people I've met have always been incredibly kind and understanding when I've made keigo blunders.

They know it's a difficult system, and they appreciate the effort.

Start by using teineigo in all your conversations until it becomes second nature.

Then, start sprinkling in some sonkeigo and kenjōgo in the right situations.

Listen to how native speakers use it in formal settings and try to mimic them.

The more you hear it, the more natural it will become.

If you have the opportunity, find a language partner or a Japanese friend who is willing to help you practice keigo.

There are also countless resources online that provide listening exercises and example dialogues.

For more on the culture behind the language, I highly recommend this link.

Discover More About Japanese Culture and Travel

And for a deeper dive into the technical side of the language itself, this is a great place to start.

Official Japanese Government Language Resources

Remember, keigo is more than just language; it's a window into the heart of Japanese culture.

By mastering it, you're not just learning to speak politely—you're learning to communicate with respect, humility, and genuine sincerity.

It's a beautiful part of the language, and I promise you, the effort is worth it.

So go out there and start practicing!

You've got this.

Japanese honorifics, Keigo, Sonkeigo, Kenjōgo, Teineigo

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